Saturday, November 26, 2005 . 11/26/2005 12:00:00 amhmm busy week.. God is really beginning to start everything afresh again in my heart where i know the meaning of true surrender... it's really a joy to have that kind of undescribable feeling and i long to be in His presence daily... perspective and objective changed as well... last time i can nvr think that being in church or meetings will be a happy thing cos must "work"... but God showed me the joy and priviledge of being with His ppl... am i not blessed... i was contemplating if i should go see a dr today cos quite sick but on 2nd tots, if i go see dr then i'll definitely go home straight and not go for prayer meeting... and i've been wanting to go since last week.. thank God that He gave me the perseverance to stay on and throughout the whol prayer session i really have a close up encounter with Him... that being able to just worship Him freely and that ppl will join in is this period when all as one body glorify Him...
sometimes i really feel His presence so much on train or bus that i would just love to kneel or even dance... but ya i cant or would i say ppl would think this girl got sonething wrong... haha... thats why it's a blessing that all of us could just gather during service.. its works... haha!!
havent been really spending time with ah boy cos both of us busy... but i'm definitely proud of him cos he's busy doing God's work and of course i would not grumble even though i do miss him... cos i'm human after all... but i was reminded also that i depend not on man but on Him... and that jon is called to serve God not me... that i have to get out of this whole thing abt how i feel or wat i want.... it's selfish and it's not pleasing to my Lord... i learnt it and i was able to take it welll these few weeks... it's been good actually cos i spend more time with God... yeah!!!! :)
Monday, November 21, 2005 . 11/21/2005 11:31:00 pmWell it has been a busy week as usual for me... haha... but God nvr choose to fail me once again as usual too... i do miss youth service after it ended although i always like to nag cos my stomach is givng me sms to go and makan... i was still hestitating if this week need to pray for ppl a not.. was telling God maybe no need cos in front no gers ma... then gt some came up... then i'm like ok ok... Jesus there i go liao... i prayed for this ger... err wat's her name huh???? oh goodness... it's some very complicating name which i can only pronounce once... then sweat kept dripping cos she told me and i get her to repeat 3 times like that.. haha... but she's really so sweet... i didnt knew what i prayed for her as i let my spirit guide and she was like looking at me and talking in a very sweet voice saying i confirmed she was asking God abt... and she is really amazing... i thank God for allowing me to even enjoy praying for ppl even though there are times i must admit i do struggle a bit... i do miss youth service more and more... every mon onwards i'll start thinking of sat to come faster... i love the idea i can worship God in the big family...
God's compassion again seems to just keep wondering and floating in my mind... and i was just praying and sometimes i told Him i really have nothing... nothing much to give.. but ya something which i could give... it's small and nothing much... but it means a lot to God... my willing heart for Him... i prayed for a more stretching year next year so that i wont be blinded by my confort zone... but i can learn and mature more in Him... thats my purpose in life... to serve and glorify Him... not me... i remember i prayed for God to stretch me and He really "no give face".... almost faint that time... haha then from then i dont dare to pray that kind of prayer... later kena "sabo" again... haha but i realise when i'm stretched... that's
when God emptied the selfishness,self-centeredness and loneliness.. then He begin to poured put His love, mercy and grace to fill me so i wont be dry... thats when i can learn to soar like an eagle.. i dont wanna be in this pace forever... then it's meaningless... i wanna see how God will use me mightily so i can glorify His name... i really wish to see lost souls saved... each and every one of them... that's when i know the burden in heart will be gone.. thats when i will rejoice... it's tough but i know there'll be this day.... where heaven and earth is full of joy in Him... Lord Jesus!!! :)
Thursday, November 10, 2005 . 11/10/2005 10:51:00 pmYea job is boring! grrr but it was good cos it was a good time for me to talk to my colleague and just trying to share abt God with her... thank God that she said she will read the bible... but ya God slowing revealing more things to me as day pass... He placed a burden in my heart that i just cant stop thinking and hmmm dont know what to say... but it's good... He's reminding me constantly abt His grace and mercy... even His plans for me... i have to trust and not act like kan jiong spider... He wants me to be faithful in little things... :)
Hee got my pretty bag and finally!!! the anna sui towel i have been eyeing.. woo will be receiving it soon when the lady post it to me... yeepee!!!!
hmmm busy week with lotsa stuffs going through me... i'm actually thinking!!! :)
oh gotta sleep now! wan an Jesus! *hug You*
Sunday, November 06, 2005 . 11/06/2005 07:24:00 pm*sob sob* my fingers are numb now.... learning how to play the guitar is so horrible... but jon says i'm a fast learner!!! *hao lian already* hur hur... i learnt 2 chords and trying to switch chords in between... but pain pain... hee now chilling out at his place.. he almost threw me to the long kang earlier on cos i disturb him by scrreaming nonsense... haha... then he kept laughing and wanting to throw me to the drain... grrrr... and his jokes i nvr seem to understand till he got fehlup! i kept asking him wat's that when he finish a joke... hee hee... no choice ma... we got communication barrier.... hur hur... gee the song my glorious just kept playing on my mind.. it reminds me of His glorious ascension and His beauty works on us... how amazing His love for us and His compassion... my daily prayer to God is to change me and made me like Him..that i'll continue to be willing annd surrender alll to Him so He can do His work in my life.. if not everything is meaningless... He's my role model!!! yah!!!! oh ya did my devotion with jon... was thinking of getting a devotional book for couple so thats something for us to go about reflecting on Him and His word... God just spoke to me through Romans 8:32 and that He'll bring me and jon to a fruitful journey of His but there'll be sufferings.. but through all these, that's when we see His glory and His promises for us... thank you Lord..
into Your hands i commit again
all have for You Lorrd
You hold my world in the palm of Your hand
and i am Yours forever
Jesus i believe in You
Jesus i belong to You
You're the reason that i live
the reason that i sing
with all i am
I'll walk with You wherever You go
through tears and joy
i'll trust in You and i will live
in all of Your ways
Your promises forever
Saturday, November 05, 2005 . 11/05/2005 12:31:00 amhaiy upset at myself that i never feels satisfied... God to change my mentality... my concept abt things... He can do all things.. i need to trust Him more and know tat He reigns in my life and i do not complain or grumble abt anything... Lord send Your glory... send Your glory to Your nation Lord... that all may see You and know who You really are... that all will be conform to be like You... that we have hope in You and not things tat are unworthy...
had a hectic and sick week... feeling tired and exhausted.... feeling the stretch coming back in me again... feeling lost in my direction once again.. a daily surrender to Him i shall bear in mind.. not to worry but trust in Him... i always find it encouraging when i read matthew 6:25-34... it gives me the peace and reminds me of His love for me... and 2 Cor 12:8-10... i remember my ex cell leader sent me this verse when i needed his word... i find it amazing how He sent ppl to us... and i thank God for having boy boy in my life too... supporting me and helping me in my flaws... i'm encouraged to see how his compassion overflows for the guys... and he reminded me time and again abt wat i say... cos sometimes when i get angry or too hyper, i just lose it... words hurt or encouraged.... it's a choice we made.... to me the choices i made reflects on my walk with God... thats why i take a very long time to think through certain decisions i made in life.... thank You Lord...
He's bigger than the air i breathe
the world we'll leave
He will save the day and all will say MY GLORIOUS~