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Sunday, February 27, 2005 . 2/27/2005 08:53:00 pm

God is good... He has been showing HIs will and love to me for the past week when i was broken.... how He made me realise there is this greater love waiting for me to accept.... how HE yearns to see me grow.... Thank you Lord.... yes God in You i can be a conqueor in life for You grant me the strength LOrd... let me mvr be weary of the things going through my life but to seek You more and more each day..... thank You LOrd for being so loving and kind to me.... How You send ppl like glenn, john, auntie rosie and pastor edwin and pastor derrick to be such a great testimony.... even the speaker yesterday Lord... how he has this simple yet such great love for You.... i was impressed and amazed by him.... using such simple words but ppl would just be blown away by this love... Father continue to work more in His life that He can impact more ppl like me... thank You Lord! Thank You for healing me and getting me back on my ground and rights with You Lord.... and let me succeed in the challenges that You will be giving me... to speak of things that will be encouraging to ppl and help them to know You more... to be more intentional and purposeful of the way You want me to be... to have the gift of communicating with ppl of Your words and not words w/o substance.... take away the stuffs that are of no substance or benefits to my bros and sisters and groom me to be a great preacher like paul.... to speak good things about You Lord.... thank You Lord.... i wanna be like an eagle that will soar high and seek You more Lord... grant me YOur grace and strength......Amen....

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 . 2/23/2005 08:03:00 pm

how i wish... that life is just this beautiful like the star in the sky...
how i wish.... that things always remain this beautiful....
how i wish..... this moment never ends....
how i wish... that times does freeze....
how i wish.... that God will be so close...
how i wish that memories do remain like a portrait....
how i wish to see you once again...
that i could say the last goodbye...
to have me in your arms again...
to call out to you for the last time...
how i miss you so...
and i still do now....
remembering the days when you smile at me...
how i love to touch your pair of hands..
the pair of hands that you used to raise up all of them....
even when the day might be so bad....
how you never fails to smile and laugh....
how you've been so brave and strong....
how i wanna be like you....
a courageous and strong woman....
if you are still here...
i would always wanna be there for you...
for you are my motivation and strength....
how you always show the love like i am so special...
how i am always the little girl in your eyes..
as you stroke my hair as i look out of the window,
spending my christmas night with you...
how i miss this season becos i'm without you..
as you would dress me up....
and you will buy me little present for the love for your grandchild...
even when i deserve only that little much...
that you never fail to care..
that you never bear to see me sad...
i love you grandma...
and i do miss you badly...
i will never forget you...
i am sorry for the time wheni was not with you...
when you wanna bid me the last goodbye...
but i know that God is with you...
He will take care of you...
i have no fear...
for He is loving the way that you have loved me once...
i will miss the smile and love in your eyes...
the moments i spent with you...
i miss you grandma......

Sunday, February 13, 2005 . 2/13/2005 10:59:00 pm

*yawn*... sleepy now.... hee had a great day at sue's place today.... always anticipating to go their house every year cos bery fun! haha was doing the nails for liana and aletheia.... but feel very bad cos i accidentally made one of aletheia's finger bleed! thanks to the freaking dry contact lens... haiy not that i wanna blame my lens but i do for my family also nvr bleed before and so funny last time i bought this lens not so jia lat one... then i only wear 2 wks then feel very pain and dry liao... think i better change to specs soon for the time being.. cos i scared maybe my eyes cannot take the lens as i wear too often and long period of time....
bought my wish list for feb 2005 liao~yeepee~~~~ got the rouge ring,compact case and a eye shadow.... hee then na na bought a eye shadow and i got a small cleanser, mascara and pouch for free!!!! hur hur!!! but i'll be giving na na the cleanser cos i already got 2 of their cleanser and she also contribute to my anna sui stuffs!!!! hur hur!!! so happy~~~i'm a happy girl!!!hmmmm tomorrow is valentine's day and boy is gonna prepare dinner and we're going for a picnic at west coast park! yeah nice nice! hope there's not much mosquitoes or i'm gonna die! hahhahahaha!!! and ya he's contributing most part of my anna sui things that i bought as a gift!!! hur hur! so happy! i'm a happy girl with happy laughter! hear my laugh~hur hur~
thank you Lord for a wonderful day today and hope the girls will have a fun day on next sun!ke ke!!!!

Saturday, February 12, 2005 . 2/12/2005 10:50:00 am

oh was just thinking how time flies and this year i really dont have the least bit of CnY mood.... last time used to be so fun when granny is still ard... i miss her so much... one person i look up to in my life... a person that i would really just shut up and behave when i am with her... for she is such a gentle and warm lady... miss her combing my hair, tying the ribbon behind my dress when i was young, going to market with her, seeing her face and smile.. a lot of ppl says i resemble her.... i really wish i do cos i knew that if that is soi wouldnt have to miss her so much.... cos if i look into the mirror i see a reflection of her.... God is with her for sure i know.... even if she's not christian... but He'll take good care of her just as how He takes care of all of us.... Thank You Lord for giving me my grandma who's so loving.... she' a strong person.... she raise up 9 kids by herself cos my grandad passed away when i wasn't even born... she has this cool attitude abt life and things must be done in an upright manner... she's so independent and cool.... i wanna be like her..... the way she sees life is opimistic for her children are her strength of life.... i do have my strength of life too......

GOD- who's so loving and kind.... who nvr sees the flaws in me but uplifts me to a higher level to Him...
boy boy aka God's angel- who's willing to take up all my nonsense and sees me as how God does..

my family- a part of my strength in life. my parents who gave me the chance to see this beautiful world... my siblings who're caring to me even when we dont talk much at times...

liana aka ah gui- who's my buddy since sec 3... always there for me when i needed someone there.... my sister in Christ also... how we came to know God together through SE... the good and bad times we shared... *hug and squeeze her tight tight*

sue-my da jie jie in Christ! very holy one... always patient and kind to all of us.... always wanting to be there for us when we needed listening ear and some good advice... nvr flares up in front of us... so nice of her right! :) *huggies*

sue-ann- my da jie also... both the sues.... both so gentle... always so sweet and caring when talking....she's always making funny faces @ me... haha! *gives her funny face back*

audrey aka drey- my little sister in Christ.... her passion for dance... grown up liao for the past few years.... her funny laughter that brightens my day... talks softly and showing her emily's hair style.. keke.... *pats her emily head*

aletheia aka alitha- grown so much... her strong willed and forgiving heart... her desire to grow in Christ and be close to the girls... always poke me and laugh at my jokes... hur hur... and ya copy my hur hur laugter... *poke poke*

corrinne- has this gentle and nice personality... always attentive talking to you.... hee...

crystal aka shui jing- my shui jing in Christ.... bling bling! haha! got the same volume of laughter as me... wearing braces and still can laugh so loud??? haha... has a good heart and heart for serving more through dance and SE... good listener and laughter... hur hur... *bling bling*

dee- so motherly! and though stern looking i know she has a heart of gold for everyone and always caring....

jacqueline- miss her so much.... as loud as me! always have this fun loving heart and nvr bear grudges.... i miss her soooo much!:(

jean aka jing xiao jie- the CEO of all the goldshops.... hahahaha... very funny and remember when we share the receipe of luo han guo.... hahahha... very xian qi liang mu....

leezibet- the dancer of the dancer! haha... very nice person and makes effort to talk to everyone.... always so happy to share and listen to ppl.... strong and independent lady!

rachel aka ra-chill- a latin woman! haha! very discipline but she loves me many many... hahha.... wanna beat me up at times for telling her lame jokes! a woman of Christ and the passion is there! she teaches me a lot on how to listen and be attentive! like glenn like that.... hee....

sandy- as crazy as me also and vain as me! always like to disturb and talk to me.... then i will secretly go and disturb her.... ha ha! nice gal with attitude!

shawna aka nana- sweet sweet lady with a beautiful heart! always so amused by my jokes and always wanting to help.... nice nice...

waltan aka wa tan- very funny and also likes jay zhou like me.... her passion to know Him and grow even if she's busy.... she does her QT during luch time....

wei fen aka ah fern- my little sister in Christ! so chirpy and always have a beautiful smile.... loving character and loves fun.... always very san pat when with me so we can be the tag team champion!

yen aka ah yen- so cute one! always very noisy when we are together and ra-chill will start staring and say:" king jing la aiyo"! hahahaha!!!! and we have a few stuffs in common and we will talk on the phone at times till wee hours... so funny one the two of us!!!!

pastor glenn lim- my 3rd earthly Father in Christ! i respect Him!!!!*salute* although at times buay tahan the way he talks, but i know he cares that's why he speaks in this manner.... he can choose to dont bother us one lolz.... and the heart to reach out through SE... THANKS GLENN!!!!

chiong xian sheng- my big da ge in Christ! always so upright and fierce!!!! hahahahha!!!! actually he's so good tempered now after having his cute jodee.... always willing to listen and help me when i'm lost...

jon chan aka chen xian sheng- always so funny and tolerating my jokes! good bro and nice guy! envy his holiness when it comes to relationship with my ah yen!:)

marcus aka ma ke si-hur hur got funny laughter and behave like glenn... kekee... very nice to my ah gui and loving to her.... also one who gives advice and helps you when you really need someone.... and like to oh pi sai!!!!

jerome aka romey- hahaha my monkey if i imitate michael! got a heart ppl..... always can be so lame and with the power combine together we are freaking lame!

symon- got the same lingo as me.... speak hokkien and talk vey rough... a nice bro who cares and encourage!

kevin- aka charlie brown- hur hur got small eyes like me!!!!! very nice guy with the heart of God! i love his vespa and hope one day he might give me as a present! hahhhaha!!!!

gordon aka cotton- that's what i call him but he dont know... shhh.. hur hur nice guy who talks like salesman to me.. but loves my sandy many many.. hur hur.....

these are all the ppl that made up fang fang's life.... thank You Lord for giving me all these ppl whom i can love and who loves me.. who accepts me for who i am and nvr hold anything against me when i hurt you all... thank you for the loving heart you guys pour out to miss fang.. esp jonny boy.. thank you for always being there when i'm down and out.... thank You Lord for yr wonderful works in me! i love You LOrd!

Monday, February 07, 2005 . 2/07/2005 10:43:00 pm

hmmmm had a tiring day.... cant decide what to wear for CNY... got a few new clothes but ya sian... dont really like CNY... find it very fake like that..... and i can't pretend to like ppl whom i really dont like... but ya... anyway...love this season cos it means i spend more time with my family... miss them... and remind me of my wonderful childhood.... but also remind me of something that make me sad.. find it very weird... always hear ppl say that i seems to be very cheerful and optimistic abt life... like i nvr seem to feel sad.... but ppl are created of different emotions of God.... for me when i'm sad i won tell ppl i'm not close to.... i would briefly say abt it but not much lolz.... maybe i am used to it when i was younger... when a period i really have noone close to me.... even my family... like no matter how much you feel like confiding in ppl but you cant get anyone... really noone.... so i'll write my diary and tell my diary my long day and feelings... and i also get sian when ppl kept saying that i spend a lot of money and things like that.... but it's really becos i nvr get to spend money till i was abt 17 or 18... cos i'm always working for school fees and expenses... i'm not as fortunate as ppl think i can be.... life wasnt so easy for me when i struggle to meet month's end.. and how i hate the idea of taking $ from ppl... i nvr like the idea.... and i cant make myself do it... much as i spend, but all are my hard earned money.... hmmmm when i was younger i remember how i used to envy my school mates having nice stuffs... but lucky thing was that my auntie love me a lot and will get things i like for me.... and i like working at her shop for her during my holidays though at times vey sad cos i cant go home... i get home sick easily one.... then i remember working after O'levels and life sucks like hell for me... no aim in life and standing 12 hours everyday!!! at times work till midnight cos of sale then have to move everthing back to the warehouse at 1a.m.... when i started studying at poly, i was happy cos i have a bunch of close friends that i'm still in touch with and a good job and boss... but at times cannot go out with them lolz.. cos working whole week except wed and stay at home to study.... hmmmm until i knew the SE ppl, life was different cos they're the anchor for me to reach out to God... i thank God for all the ppl there... that's why i know i have a calling there.... i nvr used to see the beauty of anyone till God showed me their hearts.... i used to judge and give horrible comments to everyone who came in my way.... then God show me a "sign board" saying:"pls dig out yr own eye shit then talk abt other ppl". been learning throughout.... know i got a lot of shortcomings but ppl accept me for who i am and what i am.... God sees the beauty of my heart, be it more or less.. He loves me for the fact that i am His child and that He always has this forgiving heart and gracious heart to me.... thank You Lord for the times i'm not even worthy to say out Your name but You gave me grace, gave me the strength to move on, the strength to perservere. times when i fall, You lift me up unto Your side and care for me, as how a loving father would.. showing me grace when i have done wrong and nvr bear a grudge at all... Thank You so much Lord.. and as i continue this walk, show me more of You Lord... show me the will and plans and love..... Jesus i love You and i believe i will rise on eagle's wing.. Thank You Lord..........

Sunday, February 06, 2005 . 2/06/2005 09:42:00 am

hey not fair! how come shawn li's blog look better than mine? pull that mickey mouse's ear.... but ya anyway was so contented with the stuffs that i buy and my dear sis sue was so nice by selling me some other stuffs at cheaper rate.... haiy God bless her with cheap n good things! so good.... and ya sue and i were discussing abt having a mini flea house sale sometime soon.... anyone onz for it?hahahhahahha!!!!!!! and oh having a running nose so sad!!! but no choice cos i used to be an athelete... so my nose got my genes... hahaahhaha!!!! i must come up with more lame stuffs... and invade all the guys out there who are lame!!!! to reach out to them.... hahhahahaha!!!! but anyway today is the last session of my bmc!!!! so happy! and contented.... hur hur but must prepare for ACE soon liao.. taking 3 of them.... actually wanted to take up foundation class one and two but timing clash... have to wait after that lolz.... but very excited though and soon going for leader's training..... hur hur wonder got any adventure camp a not... i like lelz... hahhahaa.... but yawn sleepy now!!!
cant wait for chinese new year to get my ang pao and buy my stuffs on wish list feb 2005... hahhhahahahhaahahahhhaahaha!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 04, 2005 . 2/04/2005 09:47:00 pm

hmmmm nvr seem to get enough of wat i buy... and actually i think i'm not such a big spender after all.... considering i'm only buying cheap stuffs.... isn't it? there are ppl who are more hiong ma! but ya not feeling too good recently.... things not going so well for me the past 2 days.... receive some bad news... hmmmm oh well just gonna leave things up to God.... by my strength i can do nothing.... i'm not YOu LOrd but i know You will guide and lead me the perfect path to follow You and trust in You.... for You alone are worthy of praise.... thank You for loving me... even if i'm going through stuffs i know You will show YR purpose for doing so.... i love You Lord....

Thursday, February 03, 2005 . 2/03/2005 10:58:00 pm

oh goodness today is such a tiring day and crazy day for me... i was so excited abt the whole anna sui sale man that it came to my mind the whole time.... was so excited and waiting for lunch time to get the stuffs i want.... haha.... well i bought a couple of stuffs.... here it goes->

1) 3 anna sui bags
2) 1 anna sui t-shirt
3) 1 anna sui eye shadow
4)1 anna sui eyebrow pencil
5)1 anna sui blusher
6)1 anna sui powder re-fill
7)1 gucci rush perfume
8)1 anna sui cleanser
9)1 anna sui toner

thats all folks.... hee i was so contented cos anna sui is my fav brand! i intend to have a whole lot of collection for it.... hee.... hmmm was thinking of getting the anna sui moisturising fluid too... and the anna sui cosmetic bag too le.... but no money sia.... ke ke.. but ya i also need to buy the anna sui gold compact case and the lip gloss in a ring... hur hur..... wa i skip lunch just to rush for the sale sia.... hee then when i reach there i kept knocking into the ppl with the big box i was carrying to contain all the items i want.... hahahhha.... my auntie pattern always come out when i wanna get stuffs i want! hur hur... always made one lady fell cos the box hit her quite hard....:P
the other day at flea mrkt also like that... i was too busy shopping and jon says that when i shop no one in the world exists like that.... cos got two ppl talking at one stall there but i was too engrossed with the stuffs there that i literally just interrupted their conversation by standing at the area where they were talking... so pai se! hee.... but never mind la... i always like that one though unintentionally la! hur hur.... but today's shopping trip was good.... and ya got to update my wish list... hee hee.... then ppl will know what i want....