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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 . 10/25/2005 06:43:00 pm

hmmm i really miss uk.... the pace there is slower... just wat i like... not so hectic and busy... how i wish i could be there longer... but when the temperature is better also. if not will freeze sia... saw my friend's pic from melbourne... i wanna go also!!! hahhaha... well i miss this friend a lot... she's been a great friend to me and i feel bad that i couldnt go for her farewell trip.. hurst how i wish she can be back soon... but i think she wont be back soon.. miss the days i spent with her during my sec sch days.. haha when i'm still ah lian and she helps me and make me a better person... if not for her i might went astray again... ah gui they all really help me a lot and i thank God for all of them... God reminded me time and again for the blessings i've had and to rejoice in Him... been quite down since i came back from uk and kept nagging to jon that i miss uk and wanna migrate over there... haha.. i wont cos i cant bear to... unless God has a purpose for me there...

i will go where You're leading me
even to those remote places
where i can find Your ppl
be a light for u
to be the salt You want me to be
i will go Lord
for Your plans are beautiful
Your love amaze me
it humbles me
brings me to a higher place
to seek Your face daily
to know Your will
that i know
that life is complete
when i knew You

Monday, October 24, 2005 . 10/24/2005 11:53:00 pm

i'm so happy cos my ex-colleague,joel accepted Christ last friday.. i'm glad that the other colleague,ah lian, has been helping her and by just sharing the word... i know joel has a lot of questions on her mind abt who God really is... but well she has the answer now... told lian to guide her and help her on her way... it's a good thing cos lian also check back with me abt certain questions she's not sure of... i like her humble character and her checking queries by asking and not assuming... i dont mind her msg me just to check abt queries on verses... cos it's a good thing she's hungry for the word... i'm more than happy to answer all her questions by asking ppl to help me simplify the answer so she can digest it better... i find it hard to convey cos i'm afraid to give the wrong thing... i normally check with jon chan or ah boy... the golden jons!! hahha!! but it really humbles me and gives me a sense of joy when ppl ask abt God... be it negative or positive comments cos i believe God makes things out for good... i will not see it for the time being but it doesnt mean i give up hope cos the Lord never does that at all.... i was amazed by His love and mercy for everyone.. even to the unloveables.... God says to love them just as how He did.. it's really hard at times and ya at times u get hurt.... God says never mind... try again... I'm here to guide and you'll never be alone cos I'm love.. tot i surrender to God everything... i told Him i got nothing to give... i gave up all my plans and will... even my finance... but God told me:"i want yr broken heart as well"... i want to mend it and bring you out a stronger person"... i wept for the love i felt in my Father's arms... holding me tight and making sure i'm still there... been too caught up in helping ppl and He reminded me... i want yr attention and love to be on me as well... i know He's delighted in some of the things i do but He needs the full attention of mine so He can start to mould me again slowly n slowly.... till i become the beautiful pottery He wants out from me... thank you Jesus... :)

Sunday, October 23, 2005 . 10/23/2005 08:09:00 am

yeah today is little jodee angel baby's party!!!! hee yr mummy n daddy put in a lot of effort!! hur hur all of us will surely have a lot of fun!!! so excited!!!!! wa but time flies really very fast... see her from small small till now... but i can tell that dee n john are definitely happy and thrilled to be parents.... Jodee is a joy giver... so cute!!!! ok going off to help out liao!!! have fun fang fang!!! :)

Thursday, October 20, 2005 . 10/20/2005 09:08:00 pm

Hmmmm a lot of things still uncertain esp for next yr.. a bit worried and scared... God has been good in reminding me... Always showering me with His love and wisdom... i'm often tactless but He has helped me a lot... one bad habit i gotta kick off is to speak with wisdom... i am just too used to say what comes out from my mouth w/o processing.. luckily most ppl dont take offence.... feel quite tired these few days... about to fall sick like that..
Ha ha my colleague says i'm very talkative and next time if i have my own salon, i'll be a good companion for my customers.. haha then she says the customer will be like she wants to do my nails or keep on yakking away... her best comment was... "can lelz.. you so talkative".. (-_-)'" hurst hurst... now saving up to take the course... siong man... thousand plus... going to puke blood... haha... really praying for money that ppl can blessed me with... cos i'm really surviving on little money... havent been buyin anything cos of saving up for the 2 months school fee when taking steps and blah blah expenses to pay for.. some more have to take up new course... trusting my Provider for it... know it's hard but always encourage when i remember one of the ywam guy call joseph... how God has blessed him so much with... he's such a cool guy n funny as well.. and i know on my part i had to save... i'm so proud of myself cos from mon till now tats thurs, i only spent less than $25 on all my expenses so far.. really trying to be responsible for all the money i'm spending... and i actually had quite a bit of savings now.. hee hee.....oh was checking mail and saw one of these... reminding me to count my blessings!!!!->

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our ownsituations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

THANK YOU GOD!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 . 10/11/2005 09:18:00 pm

yawn sleepy sleepy... sat at pc for coming to 2 hrs searching for flea markets and nail course... hurst... very tired some more cos of work... wake up so early... but ya... wa the desparation band album very good wo... i like it!!! hahahaha...
hmmm but when i take up nail course then wont have money for other things cos must also save for my wedding in a few yrs time... sob sob i wanna get married soon... hee hee... thats my ambition since young... so must plan out my objective... my parents also say i'm very jialat cos none of the gers in my family is thinking of being a housewife so soon one... but i really dont mind cos can learn to cook all these.. and do house work... hur hur i like!!!!
hmmm but cookin cannot make it... once i tried to bake cake for jon's birthday but it ended up like biscuits... cos it's crispy you know... supposed to be like sponge cake but dont know lelz.. lucky thing it was chocolate "cake" cos i think a bit burned too... hmmmm...
ok gonna sleep.. tomorrow gt cell and then thurs chill out time at home... yeah... then fri go watch movie with boy boy... so happy! :)

Sunday, October 09, 2005 . 10/09/2005 01:43:00 am

oh had a slack day i would say... hmmm service was good though... God was really speaking to me during the service... felt so hard at times and ya being a leader definitely doesnt mean a smooth journey but a journey God will bring through.... every lesson is a good lesson despite the sucky feeeling.. hmmm still trying hard..
feeling bery sleepy when i reach home.. ha ha and one chupid thing i did.. i was changing and suddenly i notice my necklace came off.. i panic cos that necklace is expensive and it means a lot to me.. i save b4 buying it and the cross means a lot to me... it reminded me constantly of God's presence, grace and love.. i was very upset when i couldnt find it and decided to go to the area jon and i walk home earlier.. as i was in my lift, i felt my butt quite uncomfortable.. and when i try to scratch it(hee hee) it was there!!!! hahaha!!! jon burst out laughing like a mad man and i was really embarassed... how i know... the cross didnt voice out ma!!! (-_-)'" ka na when jon for quite some time.. grrrr.... but ya it's ok i can take it cos i'm not petty one~!!!! :)

Saturday, October 08, 2005 . 10/08/2005 03:50:00 pm

wa piangz shiok man today.. work is fast... i had a 2 hr lunch due to a company festival... gt free flow of beer cos my co deals with beer ma... but i nvr drink... had a good talk with my colleague... spoke to her a bit abt God... shared with her my testimony... finally theres someone who doesnt think that i'm like ah lian!!!!! yeepee!!!! but ya in work i'm trying to be Christ like... there are times when i feel like exploding but control.... but ya i manage to complete my work at 4p.m and when i ask her what needs to be done she was just so cool n say:" oh take a break lolz"... and i'm like err 4.50p.m going off liao lelz... actually i go off at 4.30p.m cos transport actually leave at 4.50p.m.. haha then super slack sia with my colleague... talk cork non-stop...then went to meet jon to have dinner with his family at his place and went to watch quidam... ha ha we were in the first row.. so cool... 1st time watch show can sit 1st row... but scary cos jon says the clown will come and disturb.... then the 2 of us were very paranoid... hahaha... but the show was really fantastic... but i very worried for the performers... like if they miss all these how... then they'll be upset... was praying for them halfway watching... hahaha but ya enjoyed every moment of it... shiok to the core man!!! but ya i feel bad that jon's parent kept paying for stuffs like that for me... cos i also dont wanna waste so much of their money... already feel bad tat they pay for the uk air ticket and then now still pay for this... initially i tot it's very cheap cos i totally gt no idea wat it was... jon's mum ask me the other time if i wanna watch it and i was like huh wats that? then i tot it was the cheap cheap kind ma... hurst... then christmas coming soon and they'll start to buy tonnes of stuffs for me n jon again... hurst.. feel so bad sia... i dont mind them just giving me a card... i will still appreciate tat cos i know they take very good care of me... the mum is always very caring for me.. was asking me hows my new job... and his dad will always ask abt my day and tell jokes to make me laugh.. i find it easier to understand their accent... nt as bad as starting when i really feel like feigning fainting so they will nt bother abt me... hahhhaa... initailly tot they'll be racist when i just gt together with jon... bt different lelz... the mum still gt hug me one... bt i feel weird lalz... like my mum dont hug me also then suddenly gt ang moh hug me.. some more so tall... scared scared... haha..
and ya jon's dad gt him a free camera cos he subscibe to something... olympus and it's 5.1 megapix... jon says he's going to share with me.. happy happy... actually i wanted a canon ixus but no fish prawn also good... must learn to satisfy.. can take my pretty face can liao... hoho!!
but really thank God for everything... was reflecting a bit abt my life and realise how different my lifestyle n behaviour was when i choose to be rebellious and hard hearted... but He never fails... not even once... so amazing... i was so pai se when jon read my diary... very "duck duck" like tat... buay ta han.. i also feel like slapping myself... haha... sometimes i still do though... hur hur.. really anticipating for STEPS next yr... was thinking of having a short retreat during dec to see where God is directing me and jon.. hopefully we'll be able to go... was thinking of bali or batam like tat... hur hur... bye bye fang fang... time for bed.... here i come my bed!!!!!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 . 10/04/2005 10:14:00 pm

Oh hee hee gt a new job... though pay is not fantastic, it's convenient cos transport is near my place so i save money on transport.... lunch is standard $1.50... hur hur... cheap cheap good good... met this ger whos also a temp... whole family christian except her... talking to her and really hope that i can bring God's truth to her... but ya just being a friend to her... she's really a nice person... only 17... so young... but she's crazy abt piercing n tattoos... nt nice for gers though... i mean guys also lalz... thats why i thank God that ang moh not like that... if not like those ang moh hero then i faint... hur hur... but i really thank God for jon's family who's been treating me so nice and made me feel so welcome... even the grandparents... i'm ya happy to go uk in a way but nt happy like i said cos of the wide variety of nice food.... hahahaha...
excited to start STEPS next year and abt my plans coming up in the near future... starting of new year soon and my birthday coming soon... *hint hint* think i go and "accidentally" e-mail everyone my wish list... ke ke... hmmm like GIFT VOUCHERS is a very very very good idea!!!!! hahhhaaha... just kidding in a way though... but cannot be so mean... must be self contented... ho ho ho... hmmm i wonder wat my sisters n bro will give me... i'm excited to receive presents from my family... maen a lot to me... hee hee... :)
Ok fang fang gt to be a good ger and sleep now... *kick yr butt*

(-_-)zzzzzzz nite nite God